The universe is actually evil

By David Hill In Inbox

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8th October, 2011
The essential malevolence of the universe is encapsulated in the way toast hits the floor buttered-side down. I read somewhere that it’s all to do with the distribution of mass and the laws of rotation. Someone with a grant from Nasa has shown that we never drop a piece of toast evenly – and indeed, there’s seldom anything even about my language when it happens. So the slice begins to turn as it descends, and usually has time for only half a rotation before the lipids hit the lino. Apparently, if bench-tops were twice their normal height, the toast would land in the eat-me position. ...

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