Where have all the protests gone?

Bill Ralston thinks there's too much whingeing and not enough chaining ourselves to Steven Joyce.

Anti-nuclear protest in Queen St 1983, photo NZH

Whatever happened to the art of protest? I look about and find that, largely, mass-movement protests in this country are a thing of the past. The problem is they’ve been allowed to become boring and passé. I know there are several dozen disaffected folk camping in a few public places around the country claiming they are the grumpy 99% of the world that is missing out, but judging by the turnout so far, they seem more like the 0.0001%.

Yes, there were a couple of hundred very vocal protestors at the recent Waitangi ceremonies but not the thousands one might have expected from mass protests on serious issues a couple of decades ago. Having viewed the Waitangi television footage of the more quarrelsome protestors unhappy with the Treaty provisions for state asset sales, it occurs to me the process of racial integration in New Zealand is going marvellously, as one of the wrestling protagonists on the lawn was a fine example of a redheaded Celt, backed by a couple of hefty Nordic blondes.

Aside from the last mass hikoi several years back and a spectacular march up Queen St two years ago backing the idea of Maori seats on the Auckland Council, rather than taking to the streets these days, Maori seem to prefer to get their point across by using the financial resources of iwi to lodge judicial actions. That strategy seems to work better for them, too.

In my twenties, as befitted a scruffy student, I joined the thousands marching against French nuclear testing in the Pacific, the Vietnam War and apartheid. Notwithstanding the mass opprobrium of a host of nations, the military efforts of the Vietcong and the courage of the ANC in affecting the ultimate outcome of those issues, I am sure my many weary footsteps and hoarse chanting in countless rallies must have had a helpful effect. Maybe. Surely?

The only protest organisation that seems to be having any serious impact here is Greenpeace, which stages tightly targeted small-scale actions, such as people chaining themselves to ships, climbing tall buildings with giant banners and gluing themselves to Antarctic whales. Actually, they haven’t tried that last trick yet, but providing they still could dodge harpoons I think it would be highly effective. Greenpeace protest action works in attracting attention because it’s televisual, spectacular and usually slightly outrageous. Other protest organisations could learn from Greenpeace’s ability to focus real attention on its causes.

For example, the striking wharfies at the Auckland container terminal stand outside the gates and wave placards saying things to the effect: “Honk if you think I should get more money.” As most of us believe we deserve more money before anyone else gets it, the sympathy generated is small and the media coverage even less.

The wharfies need to do something spectacular. Strapping themselves to the derrick of a container crane hundreds of metres above the Waitemata would do it. Yes, it’s dangerous for them, but as Emily Pankhurst would tell them, “You can’t make an omelette without breaking eggs”, or in their case, a skull or two. Come to think of it, the eggs quote might have been from Mrs Beeton rather than the great suffragette, but you get my drift.

With Occupy Auckland, you have to ask why you would occupy a barren bit of tundra in the vast steppes of Aotea Square? Occupy the Viaduct! The view is much better, and there are plenty of bars and restaurants to keep you resupplied, and an endless flow of tourists to make your point to. In the French revolution on July 14, Parisians didn’t say, “Oh, let’s pitch a tent on the lawn at the Tuileries near the Louvre.” They stormed the Bastille, and quite a few folk noticed.

It’s not that we lack issues to get upset about, it’s that we no longer loudly and effectively protest; we whinge instead. For heaven’s sake, if you are staunchly opposed to the partial privatisation of state assets, chain yourself to a dam or, better still, Steven Joyce. If you want a make a point about Waitangi Day, head up there a few days earlier. When no one’s looking, scale the flagpole with a few provisions and stay up there. An added benefit is, unless you managed to drag a Portaloo up the flagpole as well, you could express your opinions to the politicians below from a very great height and in a very descriptive manner.

You may even get a world record. According to a reliable source ­(Wikipedia, to be exact), the current recordholder is H David Werder, who sat on a pole for 439 days, 11 hours, and six minutes from 1982 to 1984, to protest the price of gasoline. Sadly, petrol still went up. Still, it was worth a try.

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