Southland and Angry Boys

Disappointingly, it’s not set in the mean streets of Gore.

‘Know your penal code? What’s 203?” veteran cop John Cooper asks his trainee on TV1’s new cop show, Southland. “Mayhem, Sir!” pipes up petrified-looking rookie Ben Sherman, who is bit of a girly swat.

Ah, yes. Mayhem. We know it well. Its prevalence on our screens, along with voyeuristic freak shows about fat people, cooking competitions and New Zealand’s Next Top Model, is very possibly a sign we are living in the end times.

But then where would television be without mayhem? In recent weeks, we’ve had the story of a teenage girl who is locked in a car boot and drowned, her nails ripped off as she tries to claw her way out, on The Killing. We’ve seen a 50s debutante thrashing around on the end of a chord as she was hanged in her shower on The Hour. As for Criminal Minds, CSI, The Mentalist, Criminal Intent, Dexter … the recession may have hit many hard but serial killers and other assorted psychos are still a growth industry.

It seems odd that they even bother with those warnings about scenes that may disturb sensitive viewers. After decades of escalating prime-time carnage, any remainin sensitive viewers must have long since switched to the Living Channel, where the most traumatic thing you’ll encounter is the interior decor choices on 60 Minute Makeover.

Southland is, essentially, just another cop show. It is, disappointingly, not set on the mean streets of Gore, though there’s an idea. Young Ben Sherman is undergoing phase-one probationary training with the Los Angeles Police Department. His first day on the job sees him being exposed to quick-fire, incomprehensible dialogue, arty camera angles and colleagues determined to outdo Jeremy Clarkson when it comes to exhibitionist levels of un-PC behaviour. Cue sexist jokes and such interactions with the public as “Get out of the car, numbnuts.”

There’s not a lot new here so far. An immigrant murders a young girl. A man dies in his apartment and gets eaten by his dogs. Ben, the new boy, loses his lunch. Or, as his caring trainer puts it, “Tori Spelling threw up all over his new patent Mary Janes.”

This is from the people who gave us ER, so Ben Sherman, like Dr John Carter, is a rich boy with a vocation. “I’m a cop just like you’re a cop,” Ben explains. “I doubt that,” sneers John. “You’ve got 90210 written all over your face.” Close, but he’s got the wrong teen angst fest. Ben is played by Ben McKenzie, who was the intense, serious Ryan from The OC. Possibly aware that we may have trouble taking him seriously as a law enforcement officer, the writers made sure he shot a bad guy in the first episode.

But he did look very conflicted about it. “What?” wonders his partner. “Are you Canadian?”

The script is quite sharp and it’s looking like John Cooper might not be the standard-issue bonehead he seems. Catch it quickly before the TV1 programmers realise it’s quite good and can it.

On the other hand, one episode of reality cop show The Force was too much in spite of – or because of – the voice-over attempts to rev up the action. There was an interminable drug bust in Perth – “Stealth and speed are critical!” – that fell a little flat. “Timing is everything!”

There was the guy who got arrested twice in one week for possession of marijuana. Best of the bunch were some suspicious-looking kids – “We’re just innocent black men!” – driving an old car. “I’ll need youse to jump out,” the Aussie cop informs them. “Are you giving moy the finger?” They had done nothing wrong and went on their way.

It might have been an episode from Angry Boys, the latest from Chris Lilley, who applies the mockumentary brilliance that gave us We Can be Heroes and Summer Heights High to more or less angry boys. There’s the welcome reappearance of Nathan and Daniel, the hapless twins from Dunt. New characters include Gran, the boys’ prison officer grandmother, whose non-PC methods would make her feel right at home on Southland.

Best of all because she sails so close to the wind on so many levels is Jen Okazaki, a Japanese mum who has erected a marketing empire around her gay, skateboarding, Japanese-speaking son, Tim. All good, except Tim isn’t gay, doesn’t speak Japanese and never really liked skating.

Undaunted, Jen reveals her fail-proof tiger mom techniques. “I told Tim if he did not succeed at skateboarding I would kill myself!” she beams. “If he sound more like a little Japanese boy, they would find him more cute … The media fell for it hook, line and sinker!”

Hilarious, true and terrifying.

SOUTHLAND, TV1, Monday, 9.30pm. THE FORCE, TV1, Monday, 8.00pm. ANGRY BOYS, Comedy Central, Sky 015, Monday, 9.00pm.