Bookman Beattie brings news that The NZ Book is topping the New Zealand independent bestseller list.

Or almost.

He writes:

No surprise at all regarding the #1 slot – yes of course, 50 Shades of Grey. But at #2 squeezed in between 50 Shades of Grey and the other two in the 50 Shades series is – YES!! THE NZ BOOK.

Enthused by this homegrown success, I have begun work on a new title.

Fifty Shades of Greytown. Author name needs changing, obviously.

I see a dangerous but intractable bond between a retired civil servant turned organic olive oil producer and a thickset Farmlands middle manager who says “feral” all the time. There will be steamy scenes in vineyard cafes, antique shops and in the long grass on the banks of rivers filled with faecal matter.

All offers via my agent, please.