Dan Trelfer, author of a novel called The Flathunter, asked Twitter users to share very short stories about living in shared flats.
“Housemate ate pizza in the bath with her boyf every night. Ceiling could not sustain weight & constant damp, bath came though ceiling.”
“Flatmate decided to hit a bag of flour with a frying pan and throw it around. And also burned his foot by standing on the hob.”
“[Flatmate] failed to realise that you had to boil potatoes before mashing them. I walked in on him hitting a potato with a masher.”
“Found [flatmate] in kitchen trying to cauterise partially severed finger using hot oil in frying pan – explained concept of A&E.”
“Flatmate explained cat’s sudden death + decided to bury it at midnight, neighbour was horrified to see tail sticking out of grave.”
“I had a flatmate who liked to cook octopus first thing in the morning and refused to open any windows when doing so.”
“Flatmate didn’t like my dog licking his face. I’d find him lying on the floor with his head wrapped in cling film.”
“Elderly Scottish landlady turned up unannounced, drank all our booze then left her teeth on the kitchen table and buggered off.”
And a followup tweet:
“Wouldn’t have minded it once but it happened every couple of weeks for a whole year.”
Read Trelfer’s Storify collection – not for the easily offended – here.