Hotel nightmares: some lowlights from Tripadvisaargh

By Toby Manhire In The Internaut, Travel

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12th April, 2013 Leave a Comment

Among the user reviews posted at TripAdvisor, a massive travel site that attracts more than 200 million visitors a month, there are bound to be a good number of angry and unhinged snippets.

Some of the most remarkable hotel reviews from the British part of the site are collected at the appositely titled Tumblr site Tripadvisaargh.

The majority could be best filed under the category Yuck.

The manager said he would only give us rooms if we put a good review on Tripadvisor right away – luckily his internet crashed. When we looked at the room we were horrified. There were no curtains for the huge windows, the sheets were dirty and the windowsill had a tub of butter and a knife-god knows how long that had been there for. We also found a pair of boxers down the radiator and the bathroom looked disgusting.

*

My pillow had what appeared to be dried blood on it. The bed had other people’s hair all over it. At 2am our room was at 80 degrees so we had to open the window. However instead of the bugs, there were cats outside mating.

*

our first night sitting on the outside pool area having a drink and unwinding from our travel, we got spewed upon from someone in their balcony.

*

I found a dead cockroach in my gin and tonic.

*

there were uni students there who kept getting their male parts out, swinging it round trying to make us look at it! ew!! one of our tutors pressed for the lift and it eventually opened she was shocked to see one of them with no clothes on. one room with a group of girls in complained and got a bag of poo put on their door handle!

*

It was only when I was unpacking that I discovered the source of the smell – 3 dirty nappies in a bedside drawer which had obviously been there for some time.

*

The mattress was covered in glitter and pubic hair.

*

previous guest took a dump in the kettle… Then proceeded to boil it

*

This is by far the worst place ive stayed in. i found a cats paw in my pillow case.

*

the whole place smelled of cooking fat and there was a dead body found outside the next morning.

 

There’s a certain amount of Violence.

What can we say about the Hostel, well we can start with one of our friends being hit on the head with a guitar by an Irish guest. 

*

When the first of the guests checked out and discovered the added costs they were screamed at by the camp director for a full 5 minutes. When my wife intervened to see what was occurring the camp director punched her in the face.

*

There was some drunk dude screaming NEW YORK NEW YORK, CHICAGO, WASHINGTON DC! over and over for hours. I went to his room to tell him to shutup, and we got into a fight.

*

[The manager] grabbed me by the neck and pinned me against the wall and shouted “Why you so stupid, you wake up all the guests,— off!” (A bit ironic as his shouting did wake everyone up.) He then tried to fine me 250 euros, whilst still holding my neck

*

When I questioned the bill of £32 and offered to pay £25 they punched me in the face that bad that I had to go to hospital is a suspected broken nose, blood was everywhere and no apology was offered. I was still made to pay the full bill.

Some detail inadequate service.

We were welcomed by an inebriated man with food crusted on his cheek. he shouted at the blonde woman, stepped back into his room slamming the door, immediately re-emerged and shuffled straight into an adjacent bathroom where he relieved himself noisily for several minutes

*

I didn’t expect to find cheese & onion pasties and a chocolate eclair left in the chest of drawers from the previous occupant of the room. When I tried to complain, the man just said “did you know Michael Barrymore is in town?”

*

we paid for a room with two queen beds and got double beds the tv in the second room caught on fire and the clerk was more worried about renting another room out to check on our firey tv.

And more than adequate service.

Carmel (the landlady) makes anything you want and yes, she sings when she feels like it. If people find this strange, what boredom they have in life then! Let this lovely lady be happy sometimes and who are you, to tell us what is normal or who is not normal.

 

Some are strangely sentimental.

On arrival they had given my room away, so I had to share with a skin head from Munich as they had also given away his room, but he did turn out to be friendly and he was in a rock band and gave me his CD to sample for him.

*

We asked the waitress when our table might be cleared so we could have our breakfast. At this point she burst into tears, so to help her, my husband and I as well as some other customers sitting nearby cleared a number of tables and took them to the kitchen.

 

And some show a way with words.

The bathroom looked as if it had been borrowed from a low budget British porn film, circa 1973.

*

The accommodation would have been regarded as first class only if you had been living in a packing crate full of weevils for the last three years.

*

Opened The Wardrobe And Handles Fell Off Went Over To Friends Room And There Wardrobe Had Collapsed On Them One Couple Had a Bad Leak In There Room And owners Told Them Prop Up an Umberella For The Night

*

It is like being mauled by a giant mound of sick. I’d rather remove my kneecaps with a cheese-grater than stay here again.

*

I would rather pass a hedgehog through my colon before visiting this hole again.

 

 

The supernatural can be problematic.

I booked without knowledge that the hotel was haunted. I got attacked at about 4:30 AM on my first night by a ghost who slapped my thigh … I still have lots of flashbacks now.

*

stay out of it its haunted i saw the ghost in my room over my 4 yr boy i screamed and ran out my room we collected our thing and checked out in the middle of the night the rude man in the front desk wanted to charge us for a day while we only stayed 6 hrs after checking out my sister told me she heared water flushing in the toilet and my nanny saw the tv channels switching by it self while my kids watching tom and jerry but they didnt think that it really haunted our room.

 

 

Some are inadvertently funny:

Exactly 1 week later on CHRISTMAS DAY December 25,2005, I received a call from BEN, an employee of the [hotel]. Ben informed me that we threw cake in the pool. WE DID NOT HAVE CAKE !!

*

My Wife first of all complained of the toilets so i went and investigated myself in the gents.

 

 

Others are self-defeating.

the people that work there dont don’t come and ask you if you want a drink or anything they can hardly speak English and one of the guys cant speak English and I advice you not to get help from them cause they always want tips he stands there and waits even if it was a toaster.

 

And there is the occasional response from the hotel:

I am genuinely sorry that you have not enjoyed your stay. However I hope readers will agree that it is unfair for people to be able to complain just because they have been asked to stop singing Stayin’ Alive at the top of their voices at 3am. – Manager

 

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