While noting down some examples for this column the other day, I couldn’t but notice how it all fell so neatly into the form of a Christmas carol. So, herewith, at this time of reflection, a dozen of the treasures our prime minister has given us over the last year (and one or two from earlier than that, just because).

Ho ho ho, and so on.

John Key’s Twelve Days of Christmas

On the twelfth day of Christmas, my PM gave to me…

12 Maggots eaten

11 Liz Hurleys lusting

10 Hobbits hugging

9 Gangnams grooving

8 Catwalks mincing

7 Batshit Beckhams

6 Unread reports

5 Gay red tops

4 Sons-a-planking

3-way handshake

2 Tea cups

And a brain fade on GCSB