Sisi? Si! Egypt crackdown on the alphabet

By Toby Manhire In The Internaut

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12th February, 2014 Leave a Comment

The Egyptian de facto ruler and army chief Abdel Fattah al-Sisi brooks few criticisms, having outlawed his main political opponents and imprisoning disagreeable journalists.

The internet, however, can be counted on for a satirical riposte.

“Egypt Escalates Its War on Language, Radically Trims down The Alphabet,” reads the headline at Karl Sharro’s blog Karl reMarks.

A “radical move aimed at stopping the misuse of language to tarnish the country’s image abroad” would see “the alphabet gradually reduced to the letters S and I only”.

It continues:

A government spokesperson announced the details of the bold programme in a press conference attended only by official media representatives as all other journalists were tied up.

To the cheers of journalists, a spokesman explained:

If our great ancestors could manage only with those little drawings of birds and stethoscopes, why do we need the alphabet?

A release detailed how the new alphabet might be used.

A man walks into a shop, greeting the shopkeeper:

“Sisi Sisi!”

“Sisi Sisi!”

“Sisi?”

“Si. Sisi?”

“Sisi.”

At which point, the customer pays for what he bought and leaves.

 

 

See also: The academic tourists sightseeing the Arab Spring

Satire site plots conquest of politics
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