The weeks leading up to the London Olympic Games have proceeded about as smoothly as Mr Bean doing the decathlon.
The transport snafus. The security fiascos. And a very heavenly discourtesy: it just rains and rains and rains.
Things are serious enough that Britain’s self-appointed official Olympic tweeter devotes an entire column to the subject.
Charlie Brooker writes, in the Guardian:
How to fix it? How? There must be a way. And we’d better work it out quickly, before the world arrives for the Olympics and wonders why we’re trying to hold it underwater. They may as well have awarded the games to the lost city of Atlantis. Something has to be done.
His idea: “We manufacture a giant bathsponge.”
The austere Times of London has also been pondering the problem.
Not only are the “prospects for the Olympics looking damp”, laments the paper in an editorial, but excessive rainfall has meant “this year’s potato crop was poor, forcing up the price of the nation’s favourite deepfried foodstuff.”
When the proverbial cheapness of chips come under threat, the Times says enough is enough.
Let us make our position crystal clear: we are against this weather. It must stop raining, and soon. The British climate is supposed to be unpredictable. At the moment, it is anything but. If sustained sunshine is too much to ask for, most of us would settle for a little bit of fickle.
It’s all becoming too much for some. Gawker reports that a Cornish tourism official has chosen to lay the blame for all the damp mood at the feet of the weathermen, who are apparently “obsessed” with rain and, worse, fancy themselves as standup comedians.
There is some hope on the horizon, however. According to the Independent, after a week of downpours, it appears that “more normal weather patterns” are on their way.