His curiosity aroused by revelations that all three of Tom Cruise’s wives have quit the marriage at the age of 33,the Huffington Post’s celebrity columnist Rob – or to give him his full name, Naughty But Nice Rob – did what any self-respecting investigative journalist would do.

He went directly to a Church of Scientology expert.

“The number 33 is known as the ‘Master Teacher,’” one former Scientologist tells me. “It represents altruism and increasing your positive energy. It’s associated with healing powers through love.”

However:

“You can expect the church of Scientology to come be discussed in great detail around this split, but the age of all three wives when the marriage broke down is a coincidence,” the former Scientologist argues. “Marriage problems come from what Scientologists call ‘withholds’ or what the rest of use call ‘not communicating.’ Tom’s divorces have nothing to do with his wives turning 33. Plus, if Katie did blindside Tom with the divorce, unless she plans to continue to study [scientology], then the number 33 significance has nothing to do with the split.”

Fortunately, Perez Hilton, the Bob Woodward of celeb bloggers, was more tenacious.

“The Hubbard Association of Scientologists, the forerunner of the Church of Scientology, was established in Phoenix, Arizona. And Phoenix lies on the 33rd parallel,” he wrote, to the sound of a thousand dropping jaws.

According to numerology, 33 is the ‘Master Teacher’. It is regarded as a representation of spiritual progress and the spread of positive energy. And that’s exactly what Scientology preaches – global betterment.

I know, right?

You’re scraping up bits of your blown mind.