The Black Page
Curse, yell, click
by Joanne Black
Irate listener exercises freedom of choice – “Sounds like us?”
Radio New Zealand has succumbed to the temptation to rebrand. The perfectly good station names National Radio and Concert FM have been replaced by Radio New Zealand National and Radio New Zealand Concert. Sadly, dedicated listeners are reminded of this almost hourly because someone – an advertising agency? – has decided that if tui song works for listeners, then why not the sound of the Picton ferry? Consequently, those people who were attracted partly by National Radio’s ad-free status now hear ads.
The usually indeterminate noises appear to have been recorded in the field, although the temptation for some Gerald McBoingBoing sound specialist to sit behind a microphone clapping two coconut shells together before intoning “The Wellington Cup at Trentham Racecourse – Radio New Zealand National, sounds like us” must be hard to resist.
Presumably to truly reflect the sounds we hear, they will also give us the noise of souped-up cars rapidly accelerating, “Boy racers on Kent Tce – sounds like us”; seconds of frenzied barking, “Pig dogs in a backyard at Murupara – sounds like us”; or perhaps a vomiting noise, “A family car trip over the Rimutakas – sounds like us.” Listeners are becoming resigned to the unnecessary promos, but surely the money spent on the rebranding would have been put to better use on RNZ’s journalists and programming. After all, that’s what we tune in for.
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The school holidays ceased being a holiday about two weeks ago and instead became a protracted endurance test. I am sick of my children and they are sick of me. Normally, even a bad day with kids is assuaged by spending a few moments watching them asleep at night, when they seem innocent and angelic. But when I look at mine in their beds, I simply think they are getting more sleep than I am, so that tomorrow I will surely be first to crack. The situation is made more difficult because I work from home. This sounds like the perfect arrangement for someone with children but I now realise it would be perfect for someone without children.
However, we are stuck with one another. All the political parties seem to have views on the school curriculum, but none has suggested a review of the length of the school day or the duration of school holidays. It could be a real vote winner in 2008. Education is considered key to an individual’s development and to a society’s best chance of progress and harmony. So let’s have more of it. Especially in late January and early February.
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How we mark our national days says a lot about the psyche of Australians and New Zealanders. Australia Day is definitely a celebration. Even if many Aussies are simply celebrating a day off work by getting drunk, they do it with merriment. Mind you, they are not commemorating the signing of any treaty between indigenous people and settlers. They skipped that bit, not acknowledging at the time of settlement that Aboriginals even were people.
Australia Day is a day on which most Australians feel good about themselves and their country. Waitangi Day, however, can be relied upon to be one of the most unsatisfactory days of the year. The weight of history seems to bear down on February 6 and there is no escaping the angst it induces. Even attempts to change its name to New Zealand Day – revived in recent weeks – can’t disguise for many New Zealanders that it is not a day of celebration and unity. Instead, it’s a day when we recognise that despite the good intentions of the 1840 Treaty, things haven’t worked out for Maori in the way that they’d hoped or expected. Politicians find it difficult to get the tone right in their Waitangi Day speeches and comments. In fact, one of the highlights of our national day – and invariably the lead item on TV news – is whether any politicians were punched or spat on at Waitangi, and whether there were any arrests. Sometimes Waitangi Day feels like Groundhog Day.
