The Black Page
No waiting
by Joanne Black
When it comes to career advice, don’t ask me.
A friend’s son can’t decide what courses to take at university because, although he already has a BA, he hasn’t settled on a career. He has lots of options, which is enviable, but not knowing what job to pursue makes for an uncomfortable time, as it was for me at that age. Although at age four you might have wanted to be a prima ballerina or an astronaut, the entry criteria have a way of curbing those ambitions and some of us never replace them with anything more realistic.
In my second year at university, with not a clue what I would do afterwards, my friend Helen and I quit, deciding that hitch-hiking around the South Island was infinitely more affirming than whatever we were studying. Since I no longer recall what that was, we were probably right, though I’ve often worried that she might have had a stellar academic career if it hadn’t been for my bad influence.
Eventually, we returned to Wellington and became waitresses at Parliament, and it was while serving four-course lunches to the Press Gallery that Helen said, “We could do what they do.” “Could we?” I asked doubtfully. “What do they do?” “Write things in newspapers,” she said. She discovered that Wellington Polytechnic (now Massey University) ran a year-long journalism course, so we applied.
It was 1980 and lucky for us one of the entry tests was to write an essay on the tensions swirling in the National Party. We had served Prime Minister Muldoon breakfast that morning and Bellamy’s was then, and still remains, an excellent place from which to intimately follow politics.
We were accepted for the course and our waitressing days ended. I’ve been a journalist now for 26 years – which has suited me perfectly, since it involves almost no maths – but I occasionally still marvel at how casually I fell into it. Unless you’re one of those kids who already knows in high school – or even primary school – what career they want, being responsible for your life is a daunting thing. I’d like to be able to offer my friend’s son advice, but what do I know? Only that I am always courteous to waiting staff.
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public votING for destinations on the new New Zealand version of Monopoly, due out this year, has just closed. Fifty-six sites have been shortlisted, ranging from Ohakune’s carrot, the Rimutakas and Invercargill’s water tower to Arrowtown, Aoraki Mt Cook and Cape Reinga’s lighthouse.
On the face of it, the cull should not be too difficult. But to make Monopoly a contemporary game, surely the makers will also have to change the rules. Community Chest would need to offer Environment Court approval and a blind eye to the Resource Management Act for any player to put a hotel in Arrowtown these days. What was once “Free Parking” would be at least $4 an hour anywhere in the central city and, in addition to a banker, the game would need a tax collector to reap the additional 12.5 percent on most transactions. You could still win a beauty contest, but you’d be sent back 10 squares rather than earn $10 for your efforts. “Chance” would be renamed because Occupational Safety and Health would have removed any element of risk, and Alan Bollard would pop up to warn of rental-property investment dangers.
It is hard to see how Monopoly will cut it for a new generation and it is almost a shame to try. It is not a cultural cringe to have enjoyed the game’s traditional version. After all, if you can’t get a good broadband service on New Zealand’s most expensive residential street, then surely Mayfair remains the ultimate piece of covetable real estate.
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While working on my computer after midnight, I sometimes remember to check “grabaseat” on Air New Zealand’s website, which every day puts up different destinations at a sale price. I keep hoping that the reward for my peculiar work hours will be that I’m first to snap up a wonderful trip for next to nothing. It hasn’t happened yet – and won’t be today because I’ve just checked and the only international trip on sale is Palmerston North to Vanuatu. What’s the bet neither of those make it to the Monopoly board?
